There are times, hand only a sheet of toilet paper that enough to wipe their butt instead of the whole roll. Keep the whole roll for yourself.
On 9th September 2020, I promised to write about the above “Topic”. What is all about? Do not put yourself too much for others so that you will not end up with shortest stick. Learn how to love yourself more. Follow your heart but bring your mind with you.
My journey begins :
Enduring a long process being a “People Pleaser” has taught me to think of myself and not spreading myself too thin for others.
Since my childhood, my beloved father has taught me to act with my heart and use the mind. I didn’t really get it at that time as I was very young. I asked myself persistently, “I am treating people with kindness, compassion, truthfulness and thoughtfulness, but why I am ending up feeling sore and hurt”. I swore to myself that this time, I will use my mind instead my heart. So I did, I uses my mind to weigh the pros and cons in analytical way, however I was been labeled as an Ice Queen. I closed up my emotions and focus my future. Yes, I did it and I made my father proud of me with my greatest achievements in educations, academics and also in the corporate world.
I was a dream achiever, a star worker and a goal oriented person. It went on for many years till my beloved father passed away. My whole world was crumbling down. I am lost, my beloved father was my hero and also a pillar in my life as a confidant, a counselor and an advisor. Left me feeling lost like a little lamb in the city. No more shepherd leading the way.
I was in my numbness, mourning for the lost of my beloved father. It took me a few years to face the world again. I was always hiding behind the fake smile. My heart is always yearning for my beloved father. I miss all those times when he was so strong and showed me that each human are born from their mother and not fell from the sky or breakout from a rock. We are the same, no matter they are the King, the minister or even the Hollywood stars, they are born by their mothers. Do not allow people to walk all over me. Be strong and do not give up. Be a warrior and stand up with my pride and dignity.
As years pass by, I did not indulge myself in any relationship as I was concentrating my career. Yes, I did it well in my career. Gained admiration, wealth, possessions, at one time I felt like I was on top of the world as a great manifesto.
In the middle of the journey of finding myself :
Come to a time, I was stunned that after coming home from work. I was alone, facing the 4 walls. No one to share my happiness and achievements. I slowly embrace myself into loving people by being a “People Pleaser”. Oh, that was the biggest mistakes I had ever done. I lost myself and becoming the wallpaper. I was dispersing. Vanishing into the thin air. I slot myself into everyone’s need, I spread myself so thin. I got burnt out and disappointed. Each time I got the shortest stick from everyone. Why is the world so unfair?
Oh father, what have I done and why those advises that I was being told are not working out? I tried each way: Use my mind without feeling my heart, was not right. Then I feel it with my heart with the absence of my mind, it gets worst. When I collaborated both, I am confused. At the end is like giving away my whole roll of tissue papers to everyone and leaving me empty.
Gathering myself venturing into the unknown journey :
How come? So I took a spiritual path to seek answers for all my questions. I meditate every single day. Yes, my beloved father’s Golden Wisdom is right. That is the way. With one condition, strengthening my foundation, growing my strong root. Now I get it, all those years, my beloved father was strict with me and disciplining me like one of his cadet police in the police academy is to strengthen my core. So that I am not easily being influenced by the circumstances.
Be like a tree, with thick branch and deep strong roots. No matter how strong the wind blows, the tree will never be blown away. Same goes to a human, be strong regardless any insults or criticisms thrown at us, it will be resistant. At the same time have kindness and compassion for others. Just like a tree, they still provide shelter for the animals and humans and allowing the human to use them as resources. The trees are very loving natures. We are the one that is neglecting all the natures. We blamed each other that hurt us, but we forgot that it is from our own doing. Start loving ourselves and build a strong foundation before you extend your love cup to others.
Also remember to keep the whole roll of the tissues for yourself and hand a sheet of the paper just enough to wipe their butt. They may not thanking you for your kindness but at least you still have the rest for your own needs. In your heart you knew you have tried your best to show them your kindness. The universe will teach them and you do not need to take matters in your hand for revenging. Be gentle and love yourself.
How to love yourself? Here are the tips :
- Have space and time for yourself by indulging into your passion
- Sweat it out – running, dancing, boxing to allow the toxic releases from your sweat glands
- Make yourself pretty and feel good by wearing your favourite clothes
- Eat and drink healthily – choose more greens, white meat, slow down on the drinking of alcohol and yes more plain water
- Meditation – taming your monkey mind
- Silent – talk less and avoid gossiping, it will boomerang back into your life
- Compassion – forgiveness and be understanding others without judgement
- Gratitude – be grateful for what you have as others may not have what you had
- Get enough rest – sleep when it is necessary
- Positive thinking – read more books, watch the YouTube, join the positive minded people
With love Alicia FenixFlame99